The Kevin McCallister School of Security

This month on the blog we looked at and analyzed lots of statistics and cold, hard facts about the nature of security systems and crime. By the end of the third post this month we started feeling like maybe we sounded too doom and gloomy. So this time we’re doing something a bit more fun. Let’s look at what one certain household did when the security system didn’t deter their would-be burglars.

Home Alone

That’s right we’re talking about one Mr. Kevin McCallister and his time alone while his family was off on vacation. The movie spawned four sequels and held records for highest earning live action comedy for over 20 years, thanks in no small part to the devious means by which Kevin defends his home, property, and person. While Marv and Harry (the Wet Bandits)  may not be the type of burglars to be deterred by a security system (unlike the majority as mentioned in earlier posts) they were certainly eventually done in by the numerous Rube Goldenburg-esque booby traps laid out on the property. Now, we’re not recommending any sort of booby trapping of your home, they’re often a double-edged sword, but here are some of our favorites from the flick.

Swinging Paint Cans

Take a paint can, or another heavy object, attach to some sturdy lines or rope and set swinging on your intruder. As physics taught us, force = mass x acceleration and when the mass is a heavy as heck bucket of paint, and it’s hurdling through the air at great speed, well the bad guy is in for a world of hurt. Unfortunately this trap is a bit of a one and done, as soon as they see it coming, they’re not likely to get tricked twice.

Tar Stairs, with a Little Something Extra

The bottoms of human feet are a bit of a weak point. Just think about the times in your life when you’ve stepped on a small pebble that was the wrong side up, or heaven forbid, a LEGO. Pure agony. Well, this trap of Kev’s was even worse, a nail hidden on a stair of tar. After removing the protective casing of boots, the burglars found their foot pierced right through. Terrible. But then again, they should probably have given up by this point.

Icing the Stairs

Icy stairs are already a hassle to navigate. Now throw a bucket of water directly on their to ensure maximum ice and a bit of a slippery state and those bad guys aren’t getting up those stairs any time soon.

Again, we don’t recommend you utilize any of these highly effective means to deter crooks breaking into your home. They’re downright dangerous and likely to harm you as much as them. But boy we can’t help but admire the resolve of Kevin McCallister. And the Wet Bandits, we suppose. You’d think they would give up much soooner. We’ll catch you next time on the Central Alarm Blog.

 

 

About press